Transcript of 2010 SLW Rookie Luke Kirby’s Press Conference

“Thank you all for being here. Its been a long time since I have had an opportunity like the one Commissioner Hixson has put before me today. I can still remember, though it was quite some time ago, picking up my first yellow Wiffleball bat as a kid. It was love at first touch so to speak. From hitting my first homer to to wiffing on some nasty curveballs, I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my Wiffle career. And to be quite honest, I thought that career was over.”

“You see–I went out on top. Crushing that Wiffleball high over the Shoemaker’s Green Monster off of Commissioner Hixson was at the time the crowning achievement of a great, though short career. But something was missing. And that something boys and girls, is a SLW Tourney Championship. I want the world to know I will stop at nothing to achieve this goal. Commissioner Hixson, depending on if I’m on his team or not, has either made a great decision, or a potentially lethal one. And so, after speaking with my family (and my knees), I have decided to enter my name in the 2010 SLW Draft.”

————Thunderous Applause—————–

“Thank you, thank you all”


1 Comment

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One response to “Transcript of 2010 SLW Rookie Luke Kirby’s Press Conference

  1. For the record, the story of my old pal Luke crushing homeruns off of me at the Shoemaker Wiffleball Complex is complete fiction.

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